ask open ended questions

you're having boring conversations

"how are you?" "good, you?" "good." congratulations, you've exchanged zero actual information and both parties learned nothing. this is how most human interaction goes, and it's a tragic waste of the most remarkable communication system on the planet.

the power of open-ended questions

closed questions get one-word answers. "did you like the movie?" gets "yeah." open-ended questions unlock stories, opinions, and genuine connection. "what stood out to you about the movie?" gets a real answer that reveals how someone thinks, what they value, and who they actually are.

the best open-ended questions share three qualities: they can't be answered with yes or no, they invite personal reflection, and they signal genuine curiosity. "what's the most interesting thing you've learned recently?" tells someone you care about their inner world, not just their surface-level status updates.

the strategic angle

beyond deeper personal connections, open-ended questions are an incredibly powerful professional tool. in negotiations, they reveal priorities. in interviews, they uncover character. in networking, they make you memorable — because the person who asks great questions is always more interesting than the person who talks about themselves.

the practice

identify someone you'd like to know better — a colleague, a neighbor, a friend you've never gone beyond small talk with. prepare three genuinely curious open-ended questions. not interrogation-style questions — warm, interested ones. "what got you into your line of work?" "what's something you've changed your mind about recently?" "what's the best advice anyone's ever given you?"

then actually listen to the answers. don't plan your next question while they're talking. don't redirect to your own experiences. just listen. you'll be amazed at what people share when they feel someone actually wants to hear it.

if this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.