ethical egoism

somewhere along the way, you absorbed the idea that being a good person means constantly sacrificing for others. you say yes when you mean no. you give time you don't have. you spend energy on people who wouldn't cross the street for you.

and you wonder why you're exhausted and resentful.

the case for ethical self-interest

ethical egoism isn't about being a sociopath. it's about building an ethical framework that's consistent with your own well-being. it's the recognition that you can't pour from an empty cup, and that chronically depleting yourself doesn't make you virtuous - it makes you a doormat.

this philosophy says: before you commit your time, money, or energy to anything, ask one question. does this return value to my life?

value doesn't have to be financial. it can be joy, growth, connection, meaning, or health. but it has to be something. if you're consistently giving to things that return nothing - not even satisfaction - you're running a charity for people who didn't ask for your help.

where you're probably leaking energy

do an honest audit. look at your calendar, your bank statements, and your text messages from the last month. identify everywhere you spent resources and ask:

• did this energize me or drain me?
• would this person do the same for me?
• am i doing this out of genuine desire or guilt?
• what would happen if i simply stopped?

the answers will be uncomfortable. you'll find obligations you've been carrying for years that serve no one - not even the people you think you're helping.

the paradox of healthy selfishness

here's the counterintuitive truth: people who take care of themselves first are actually better at taking care of others. when your own needs are met, generosity flows naturally rather than being squeezed out of an empty reserve.

the person who exercises, sleeps well, and protects their energy has more to give than the martyr who's running on fumes and resentment.

this week, identify one commitment that consistently drains you without returning any value. drop it. not with drama or explanation - just quietly stop. notice how much energy comes flooding back. then reinvest that energy in something that actually matters to you.

if this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.