extreme personal responsibility

here's a truth that will piss you off: almost everything wrong in your life is your fault. not because you're a bad person, but because you're the only variable you can actually control.

the blame trap

something goes wrong at work. your first instinct: my boss is an idiot. a relationship falls apart. your first instinct: they changed, not me. you're broke. your first instinct: the economy, the system, bad luck.

every time you externalize the cause, you externalize the solution. if the problem is "out there," then the fix is out there too -- somewhere beyond your reach. congratulations, you've just made yourself helpless.

what extreme ownership looks like

it means asking "what's my part in this?" about everything. even when the answer is uncomfortable. especially when the answer is uncomfortable.

• got fired? what could you have done differently? what signs did you ignore?
• relationship ended? where did you stop showing up? what patterns do you keep repeating?
• out of shape? nobody force-fed you. nobody chained you to the couch.

this isn't about guilt. it's about power. the moment you own the problem, you own the solution.

the locus of control

psychologists call this your "locus of control." people with an internal locus believe they control their outcomes. people with an external locus believe outcomes happen to them. research consistently shows that internal locus people are happier, more successful, and more resilient.

this isn't woo-woo positive thinking. it's a fundamental orientation toward life that determines whether you act or wait.

try this

next time something goes wrong -- anything -- before you blame a single external factor, ask yourself: "if this were entirely my responsibility, what would I do differently?" then do that thing.

take a locus of control test online. see where you actually stand versus where you think you stand.

if this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.