family time

you text your friends more than you call your parents. you know your coworker's lunch order but not what's going on in your sibling's life. the people who shaped who you are have been slowly fading into the background of your busy, important schedule.

and you're going to regret it.

the proximity problem

family gets taken for granted because they're supposed to always be there. friends require maintenance - you have to make plans, show up, keep the relationship alive. family just... exists. or so you think.

the truth is, family relationships atrophy just like any other. every month without meaningful contact creates distance. not dramatic distance - subtle distance. the kind you don't notice until you're at a family gathering and realize you're making small talk with people who used to know everything about you.

the uncomfortable math

if your parents are in their 60s and you see them twice a year, and they live another 20 years, you have about 40 visits left. forty. that's it. that number should hit you like a truck.

if you have siblings you see once a year, do the same math. the remaining visits you have with the people who shared your childhood are countable on a spreadsheet. and most of those visits will be holidays where you're surrounded by other people and never actually talk.

making it intentional

stop waiting for holidays and emergencies to bring you together. schedule family time the way you schedule work meetings - deliberately and non-negotiably.

• weekly calls - 15 minutes with a parent or sibling. not texting. actual voice-to-voice conversation
• monthly one-on-ones - take a family member to dinner, just the two of you. not a family event. a real conversation
• quarterly experiences - do something together that creates a memory. a hike, a cooking class, a road trip. shared experiences bond people faster than anything
• annual traditions - create something your family looks forward to every year. a camping trip, a game night, a reunion

what you'll discover

when you start showing up intentionally, things shift. conversations go deeper. old tensions soften. you learn things about your family members that surprise you because you finally created space for real exchange.

you'll also discover that the things that used to annoy you about your family bother you less when the relationship is strong. annoyance thrives in distance. connection dissolves it.

don't wait for a crisis to remind you that these people matter. pick up the phone today. make a plan for this week. show up before life forces you to show up at a hospital or a funeral.

the time you have with the people who love you unconditionally is finite. start acting like it.

if this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.