give a gift

buying a gift card is not giving a gift. it's outsourcing thoughtfulness. the entire point of a gift is demonstrating that you paid attention — that you noticed something about this person that they might not even notice about themselves.

why most gifts suck

they suck because they're about the giver, not the receiver. you buy what's convenient, what's on sale, what you think you're supposed to buy. a candle. a bottle of wine. an amazon gift card. these gifts say "i remembered your birthday" but not "i know who you are."

the best gifts are the ones the recipient would never think to buy for themselves. not because they can't afford it, but because they didn't know it existed, or they'd never prioritize themselves that way.

the art of paying attention

think about someone you care about. what do they complain about? what do they light up talking about? what's a small friction in their daily life that they've just accepted?

maybe your friend mentioned a book three months ago in passing. maybe your partner always struggles with a specific tool in their kitchen. maybe your sibling has a hobby they love but have never invested in properly.

the gift is in the noticing. it says "i was listening when you thought nobody was."

how to do this today

pick one person. spend thirty minutes thinking about what would genuinely surprise and delight them. set a budget — it doesn't have to be expensive. a $15 book that perfectly matches an obscure interest beats a $100 generic gift every time.

this isn't about the holiday

giving a meaningful gift outside of any occasion is even more powerful. it says "i thought of you for no reason other than i give a damn." that's rare. that's memorable. that's the kind of person people want in their corner.

if this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.