quid pro quo

you probably have at least one relationship in your life that's completely lopsided. you give time, energy, attention, money, emotional support — and what comes back? nothing. or worse, more demands.

the relationship audit nobody wants to do

not all relationships are equal. some people add to your life. others subtract from it. and a rare few multiply it. the problem is that most people never sit down and honestly evaluate which is which.

this isn't about being transactional with friendships. it's about recognizing that your time and energy are finite resources, and you're currently spending a chunk of them on people who wouldn't do the same for you.

how to spot a draining relationship

ask yourself these questions about any relationship that feels off:

• when you reach out, do they respond? when they reach out, is it only when they need something?
• do you feel better or worse after spending time with them?
• if you stopped initiating contact, would the relationship simply end?
• do they celebrate your wins or subtly compete with them?
• have you expressed a boundary that they repeatedly ignore?

if the answers paint an ugly picture, you already know what needs to happen. you've just been avoiding it because ending or limiting relationships feels cruel. it's not cruel. it's necessary.

the graceful exit

you don't need a dramatic confrontation. most lopsided relationships die naturally when you stop being the only one keeping them alive. reduce your availability. stop initiating. let the silence speak. if they notice and step up, great — you've learned something about what the relationship needed. if they don't notice, you've learned something even more important.

protect your energy

you can't pour from an empty cup and you can't grow while someone is constantly draining your reserves. identify the relationship that costs you the most and take one step back from it this week. the guilt fades. the relief doesn't.

if this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.