reconnect with an old friend

there's a name that pops into your head every few months. someone you were close with years ago, maybe decades. you think about reaching out. then you don't. because it's been too long, it would be weird, they probably don't remember you, you wouldn't know what to say.

all of that is garbage your brain invented to keep you comfortable.

why we lose people

nobody consciously decides to end a friendship. what happens is slower and quieter than that. you move cities. you change jobs. life gets busy. the gap between conversations grows from weeks to months to years. and at some point, the gap itself becomes the barrier. "it's been so long it would be weird to reach out now."

no it wouldn't. the only person who thinks it's weird is you.

the message is simpler than you think

you don't need a reason. you don't need an excuse. you don't need to pretend you just stumbled across their number. just send this:

"hey, i was thinking about you the other day and wanted to say hi. hope you're doing well."

that's it. that's the whole message. nine times out of ten, the response will be warm, surprised, and happy. because they've been thinking about reaching out too, stopped by the same imaginary awkwardness.

what you'll rediscover

old friends carry a version of you that current friends have never seen. they knew you before the career, before the relationship, before you became whoever you are now. reconnecting with them reconnects you with parts of yourself you might have forgotten.

there's also something grounding about a friendship that has survived years of silence. it proves that the connection was real, not just convenient. those are the friendships worth protecting.

do it right now

think of one person you've lost touch with who you genuinely miss. open your phone. find them on social media or in your contacts. send a message. don't overthink it. don't draft and redraft. just send something human and honest.

the worst that happens is they don't respond. the best that happens is you get a friend back.

if this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.